English is Hard

Most Chinese students start learning English in middle school, taking 4-5 English courses per week and dealing with piles of homework and exams. After six hellish years in middle school and high school, some of them decide that they've had enough, and will never read or speak English; and some decide to continue their English studies by taking more English courses and having more assignment and exams. I'm one of the latter: English courses were compulsory for students in my school, and I took at least one English courses per semester. Some English courses were taught by native speakers, and what we did in class was basically watching TV shows or playing games; some were taught by Chinese professors, who showed great interests in tangling with jargon in political science.

My point is I had been learning English successively for ten years before coming to the US, and I still found it difficult to communicate with local people! One day I went to do laundry, and a friend of mine was in the laundry room too. She asked me if she could use my "detergent". I stood still and looked at her in confusion, holding the detergent in my hands. "Sorry, what's deter...?"
She pointed at the bottle in my hand, "Can I use this?"
"Oh of course, help yourself." I finally understood the meaning of "detergent".
Yes, don't laugh, I know what "authoritarianism" is, but I didn't know what "detergent" is.

Some English words are translated into the same Chinese word, but they do have different meanings in English. This story happened during my second year at Princeton, when my roommate Leslie and I were preparing a surprise Birthday party for Vanessa, the other roommate. Our plan was to have her husband come over from NYC and celebrated her birthday with friends at night - after our class on impact evaluation at 9pm. Leslie was running some errand in the afternoon, therefore she left the apt key under mat for Vanessa's husband, who would have access to the apt when Leslie was away. Things do not always go as they are planned. Vanessa went back to apt in the afternoon before her husband arrived, and found the mat was kicked away by someone and the key was left outside. So she asked Leslie, who happened to be with her at that time. Leslie answered calmly:" Oh it's Keqin's key." And she soon called me, saying her key under the "mat" was found by Vanessa, she claimed it to be mine, and she wanted to make sure that I wouldn't give her away. I caught the keyword "mat", but unfortunately the first thing came to my mind was the rug in the living room. I wanted to ask Leslie why she hid her key under the rug in the living room, but she hang up. Later that night, I was assigned the task of walking back to the apartment with Vanessa after the evening class, and slowing her down so that other people would have enough time to set up. I thought for a while, and found a perfect excuse (I thought). So I asked Vanessa: "I left my key in the apartment, can I go back with you?"
Vanessa looked confused: "I thought you left the key for someone under the mat."
"Yes, that's why I don't have it..." Then I realized the true "mat" that Leslie was talking about.
Vanessa looked at me in suspicious. I stood there awkwardly, having no idea of how to explain it. Later she told me she sensed the party a little bit by my mistake. And I learned the difference between mat and rug.

The other day I drove my car for smog check. After the check was done, the mechanic was typing something into his computer. I asked him if I could get a "hard copy" of the smog check report so that I could bring it over to DMV. He looked at me strangely and said: "Well, then I have to make it."
I said to myself, "this guy is so lazy, he doesn't even want to print it!" So I replied, "then can you make it?"
The mechanic paused for a few seconds, and said: "Sure... but it might take a while."
I felt he was reluctant to make the "hard copy", but I couldn't figure out why, and I didn't understand how printing a copy could "take a while". So I explained to him that I knew usually the report was sent to DMV's database directly so it wouldn't be a big problem if I didn't have to hard copy with me, but in case things went wrong, it was always better to obtain a hard copy.
"Oh!" He laughed, "I thought you wanted a 'hot coffee'!"

These are some of my wonderful memories with English. A lovely language!