Camping with Nerds

I went camping with Gang and his ERG fellows this weekend. It was my first live-in-tent experience, and also the first camping-with-nerds experience.

We lived by a small patch of woods at night. A new ERG student helped Gang and I set up our tent. He held a  fancy LED flashlight, whose light was downy but bright. Then I heard him talking to his classmate about the power and design of his flashlight. I'm sure if there were a blank chart aside, he would be delighted to draw the structure. This was not the end. Gang was obviously inspired by the application of LED that he further explained to me how much energy could be saved by using this LED flashlight to produce the same brightness.

When it got dark, people surrounded  the fired, playing games and chatting. Gang and I looked at the sky, and found stars extremely bright, spreading across the night sky. Then an ERG fellow came and held an Android in his hand.

"You guys should check this out!" He said.

We looked at his cell. He was using an App called "Google Sky" which presents a stellar map based on your location and the direction of the phone screen. Therefore you can find the name of each star high in the sky and figure out how it makes up constellations with its neighbors. We exclaimed at the technology as more people gathered and watched the tiny Android screen instead of appreciating real stars. I remember camping twice with Woody-woos. What did we do at night? We lay our back on the grass and said :" Look at the stars, so beautiful!" And that was it.

Later I met a colleague of Gang's. They work in the same group and share the same office, which locates in a smart building. After him complaining about how the claimed "smartness" was actually stupidness, I got interested in the lighting system there and asked him if the building was open to visitors. My intention was to figure out whether I'd be able to see the control board of lighting system in his office, but he provided a much more comprehensive answer to my questions:

"I think the XX and XX floors are open to visitors, but the XX and XX floors are not, though you may probably access them on weekends. The Y space and Z offices on XX floors are open too, but you can't visit room XX and XX..."

He continued for a few minutes until he made sure that all the details had been clearly provided. I stunned at him, having no idea about how to respond.

"You know a lot!" I said in the end.

The most scaring question was to ask Gang's friends "what's your focus?" Sometimes (if lucky enough) I met master students who just started the program, and all they had were ideas but not knowledge or terminologies. We ended up talking about future plans. But if I asked someone with a few years of relevant research experiences, the conversation could turn into a scientific seminar, in which I did not understand a single word. The conversation always ended with me saying "That sounds awesome!"

Anyway, I like these science nerds, and my husband is one of them.

(Standing by my tent in the chilly morning)

Riddle of Bamboo Annals

Last month Gang and I went to visit our old housemate, David Nivison, Professor of Chinese Studies in Stanford University. We lived in his house for about ten months until Gang ended his term at Stanford. I helped him translate his latest work on the Bamboo Annals (BA), a book written on bamboos thousands of years ago and the research on which provoked huge controversy in Chinese academy, and finished most of the work before I left the bay area. During the last two years, new evidence was found regarding to ancient calenders and military records in Shang and Zhou Dynasty, and induced further revisions to his original draft. David explained to me about his updates in the book, and told me he had difficulties in finding people to translate the updates. I offered temporary help until his assistant is back to work on account of all the joys I've had when translating this book two years ago.

It was the most challenging translation I've ever done. David's book, The Riddle of Bamboo Annals summarized his main discoveries on BA since 1979, when he started to look into the history of BA, recoverd the full picture of BA, explained the differences in stories recorded in BA and other annals, finding out the true date of historical memorabilia, and more importantly, revealed some unknown political systems and culture in ancient China from that. To find out the reasons behind the differences, he studied astronomical records, calendars, sacrifice ceremonies, paleography and even ancient literature, searching for the true meanings of BA's records and historical changes that had happened to it. As a result, I had to understand all these to translate his book. I had new learning experiences everyday. We talked about fantastic legends recorded in oracles on shells or inscriptions on bronze wares, and how different calendars pointed to the same day for sacrifice after magic astronomical phenomenon happened. It was fascinating.

When I started to translate BA, I came to understand why David got obsessed with it. It recorded many stories before Zhou Dynasty which are quite different (sometimes even opposite) from general knowledge. Especially, it has many contradictory records to Shih Chi, the first comprehensive biographical history by chronology written in Han Dynasty, hundreds of years after BA was written if we adopt David's conclusion on the completing time of BA. Most of my knowledge about history is from Shih Chi and other historic records kept after Shih Chi's completion, therefore it was pretty shocking reading BA. For example, there is a less-than-50-word story about Yiyin, a famous chancellor in early Shang Dynasty who was said to change the king from a fatuous ruler to a virtuous one and flourished the country in most historical records. However, BA said Yiyin expelled the king who slunk back seven years later and killed Yiyin. If BA is right, then why later histories ignored its records and made up a different story; and if Shih Chi is right, then why BA lied? Assumptions are raised to address the controversy, but more solid evidence remains to be found in the future. In any case, no one knows what really happened more than three thousand years ago, but it's good to have different records and become suspicious of historical stories we've read.

Our posterity may get better ideas about our lives than us to our ancestors given the rapid development of technologies, but they may lack the joy of uncovering historical myths from a few relics and rotten pieces. Bold imagination and rigorous proof make archaeology so beautiful.

 (Source: http://goo.gl/DfnKp ; Picture unrelated to the text)

Chinese Halloween

August 31st, which is also July 14th on lunar calendar is a traditional Chinese festival - Zhongyuan Festival, one of the four Ghost Festivals (GF) in China. The other three are March 3rd, Qingming Festival and Octorber 1st (all in lunar calendars). In these days, the door to the underworld is open and ghosts can come back to the earth and wander like human beings.

According to old legends in Taoism and Buddism, ghosts leave the underworld at night. They dress like normal people, and especially enjoy walking around night markets after long and lonely days in the netherworld. That night, ghosts can lead normal people's lives - they bargain with street vendors, play games, buy snacks and drink alcohol, except that you can't find their shadows in the streetlight. And if you happen to join them in drinking, you may want to watch out not to go back to the underworld with them at daybreak in drunkenness. That's why sometimes people set off firecrackers to scare away ghosts, making sure they're drinking with their fellow humans. Children and women are warned not to stay outside too late as they are more vulnerable to be attacked by ghosts. Another custom is to offer sacrifices and burn paper-made notes (currency in the underworld banks) to ancestors, as they will visit their descendants that day and it's our responsibilities to serve them something nice, and assure them good lives in another world. Also, people believe that in the gloomy underwater world lies the bridge to the hell and most ghosts can be found in rivers or lakes. Thus they also go to riverside and put lanterns on the water with candles lit inside as a way to comfort wandering souls and to wish them better lives after reincarnation.

People in other countries also wonder about afterlives and show their respects for deaths. In Japan, people celebrate Obon Festival in mid August. Obon originated in India as a Buddhist festival to expiate sins of the deaths. It spread to Japan through China and became the second biggest festival in Japan. The entire vacation lasts about 7-15 days, people reunite with their families and visit ancestors' graves together. Obon Festival is when Yama, the king of the underworld, goes on vacations. Therefore the unshackled ghosts are released to the world and many of them choose to visit where they used to live -  I mean, the earth. During the Obon Festival, people dance in Yukata, holding memorial ceremonies for the death and praying for good fortunes in the coming year. Similarly, Japanese also believe that their ancestors will visit them during the festival, thus they hang lanterns in front of houses to show ancestors the way. In the fiction I'm reading recently about Abenoseimei, a famous Onmyoji in Heian Era, people in Japan used to sit together in Obon Festival and take turns to tell ghost stories. As one finished his story, he blew out the candle in front of him. After all the candles went out, it was the time for ghosts' parade (Hyakki Yakou百鬼夜行). The earth was occupied by ghosts who lived and talked like human beings. Everything came back to normal after the dawn, but people had to carefully avoid coming across ghosts at night.

The Halloween in the US and other western countries is quite different in the way of respecting the deaths, maybe due to the difference in religions. Both Zhongyuan and Obon are meant for families to memorize ancestors while Halloween is more like a ghost version of Disneyland for kids. (Well you know better than me.) I must admit I was really surprised to see how happy people are in a ghost festival when I saw kids in costumes running around with jack-o'-lanterns and candy bags during my first Halloween in the US in 2009.
                                                                                                             
At the end of the blog, I'd like to list a few taboos for tomorrow (Zhongyuan Festival):
- Don't burn large bills (I mean "paper-made notes") only, as ancestors may come back for changes;
- Don't hang wind chimes above the bed, they may attract ghosts to your bedroom;
- Don't leave your clothes outside as they may be "borrowed" by ghosts;
- Don't stay up late, you may see too much;
- Don't pick up money on the road, it may be left for bribing officials in the underworld (corruption is everywhere);
- Don't call your friends by full name, it may be heard by some wandering souls.

Ice Age

Gang and I went to watch Ice Age 4: Continental Drift yesterday at AMC. It was late at night, only four audiences (including Gang and me) were watching the movie - probably due to the fact that most kids had gone to bed already at that time.  It's no longer surprising as the first one of the series: the mammoth is tough but gentle, the sloth is more of a hindrance than a help; Diego finally finds his love and the squirrel fails to get the cone - as always. But its producer, the Blue Sky Studio successfully offers audiences a hilarious movie with witty dialogues and imaginative characters. Everyone knows the end even before they start watching, but the 90 min is still quite enjoyable. As a consequence, I can't recall much from the movie, but a few dialogues during watching.

When the landslide happened at the beginning of the movie (as continents drift), all the animals looked panic. I asked Gang: "Earthquake?"

"No, Climate change." He answered assertively.

At the end of the movie, all the animals successfully defeated pirates and emigrated to a new land. At the entrance there is a weird statue holding a torch.

"Statue of Liberty!" Gang laughed.

And I agree with him. This is such an American movie!

With world-class animation technologies and production teams, American animation thrives without any rival over the past few decades. Besides the Ice Age, the Lion King in 1996, Shrek in 2001, Finding Nemo in 2003, Garfield in 2004, Madagascar in 2005, Cars in 2006, Wall-E in 2008, and recent Rio and Kungfu Panda, have shown the evolution of American animations: better pictures, more dimensions, but always the same ideas. Designed for both young and old, these movies are embedded with core values of human society: love, friendship, dream and freedom (and eulogy for the US sometimes.) Equipped with these universal values and stunning pictures, American animations spread out theaters very quickly - just like how fast-food conquers the world. People have fun when watching it, and better still, they don't need to think to understand them.

In comparison to the popularity of movies with straightforward expressions of mainstream values, another form of animation, represented by Hayao Miyazaki's movies, is declining. Tonari no Totoro, is the sort of movie which requires the audiences to take time to see another scene behind the pictures. A similar animation, Mary and Max (2009) which told a touching story between two pen pals was also under-appreciated. It looks like people are reluctant to spend two hours tearing for two cartoon characters.

This is a regrettable trend. However we can't blame producers seeking after fast-paced narrative and plain stories as I'd assume they are only catering audiences' tastes. When we are too busy to think and too stressed to laugh, all we look for in a theater is relaxation. Take a seat, have some popcorn, and have fun.

The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name

In April 1895 Wilde was brought to court charged with indecency and sodomy. Charles Gill, a schoolmate of Wilde's and the prosecutor in the case, asked him "What is the love that dare not speak its name?" Wilde's impromptu response was:

"The Love that dare not speak its name" in this century is such a great affection of an elder for a younger man, as there was between David and Jonathan, such as Plato made the very basis of his philosophy, and such as you may find in the sonnets of Michelangelo and Shakespeare. It is in this century misunderstood, so much misunderstood that it may be described as the "Love that dare not speak its name," and on account of it I am placed where I am now. It is beautiful, it is fine, it is the noblest form of affection. There is nothing unnatural about it. It is intellectual, and it repeatedly exists between an elder and a younger man, when the elder man has intellect, and the younger man has all the joy, hope and glamour of life before him. That it should be so, the world does not understand. The world mocks at it and sometimes puts one in the pillory for it."

(Source: Wilde 1997)

I read Wilde quite intensively after returning to the bay area, including his fairy tales, novels, plays and the long letter he wrote to Boise when in prison. His works are flooded with the joy of youth and the desperation of affections. His fairy tales for instance, show beautiful but dreary love that the nightingale's holding for the young students, so as the swallow's love for the happy prince. Youth, no matter how glorious it can be, will be gone one day, just like love will finally fade in vain. With this in mind, it's not too difficult to understand his crush on Boise, the "Lily Prince" who did nothing but destroy his career, then his reputation and life.

Genius are more or less crazy. They need distinctive lifestyles to get inspirations. Being a selfish giant to his wife and children, Wilde indulged in the love with Boise, even though he fully understood that he could be ruined by the relationship, as mentioned in De Profundis. He embraced temptation, eulogized uncertainty, admired romance and let emotions lead him astray. He led a extravagant life with Boise, enjoyed the beauty and roman, but also suffered from the endless fights. Though having tried from time to time, Wilde never succeeded in ending the relationship. He was infatuated with Boise's look for sure - Boise was very pretty, but I think what truly attracted Wilde was the desperation of loving this capricious and vain boy: for Wilde, what can be more beautiful than "dying for his love with the thorn in his heart". (Source: The Nightingale and the Rose) Even after the two-year jail life and that furious long letter to Boise, Wilde gave up all his resolution of ending the relationship when he saw Boise, and spent another three months with him. No record was found about what happened during that time, all we know was that Wilde finally left Boise wounded and tired, and spent the rest of his life in Paris. As Wilde said, there are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. A tragedy, is the best summary of the love that dare not speak its name between Boise and him.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Perhaps Wilde is one of those who never get satisfactions from ordinary life, - or in his words, "tedious life"; and the joy of looking at the stars may ease his pain of standing in the gutter.

Beautiful Poems in Fictions

I talked to Gang about the poems I've read in fictions when taking a walk together last night. Poems have the magic of expressing feelings in a mild and indirect way with only a few words and letting the imagination fly. I think it will be fun to introduce some poems I've read in internet fictions so far. Though the translation of classical Chinese poetry into modern English is very awkward, I will try to explain the ideas as complete as I can.

A guy saw his love off in a restaurant by the river, who was about to board and relocated to somewhere thousands of miles away. In grief, he wrote a little poem:

You embark alone, and I lean against the wall,
君上孤舟我倚楼

The east wind drives your boat;
东风吹水送行舟

May God want to keep you here,
老天若有留君意

Driving the river backwards let the west wind blow.
一夜西风水倒流

(Source: An Encounter of Gentle Breeze and Bright Moon)

I could feel his desperation when his love is leaving. He can hardly do anything but to pray to God for a change in wind direction to retain him. All the words seem redundant at the time of sorrow.

Another poetry was written after a guy attending his love's wedding. The story is a Chinese version of Romeo and Julia. A young man was sent on an undercover mission to an enemy state, unfortunately he fell in love with a general there. However he had no choice but to follow the plan and annihilate the general's troops. The general escaped from the siege, and soon got married after his return. Suffering from the guilt of cheating and desperation of love, the young man wanted to take a last look at the general and finally sneaked to his wedding. When he saw the happy couple, he decided to give up. Thus he left a poetry on the table, which was found by the general in the following morning.

Candles burn to the end, watching the smoke ascending in grief,
高烛泪尽恨烟轻

We meet in a hurry but part forever;
一场相逢一场离

I only wish I will never see you again,
争如此生不再见

My tears drop like candle-mud, and my visions are blurred.
雾作氤氲泪作泥

(Source: Gone with the Summer)

The moment when a candle is lit, the candle and smoke meet each other. However as the candle burns in pain, the smoke keeps ascending into the sky while the candle descends in wax mud until they finally part. It's not that they don't love each other, but they are unable to make each other happy. At the end of the story, one committed suicide and the other lived in deep grief for the rest of his life.

The last poetry was found in a fiction about political struggles in ancient China. A young man's entire family was exterminated, but he was rescued by a friend, who took very good care of him. However he failed to recover from the tragedy and was depressed for a long time. One day, his friend wrote a poetry to console him.

I look back, the scenery looks remote,
回波一望悠悠

The moon in the sky won't get old easily;
明月难见白头

Tough mountains are finally eroded after centuries of withering and flourishing,
拟山荣枯有尽

Only soft trickles run quietly but long-lastingly.
若水细细长流

(Source: Another Spring)

After reading the poetry, the young man realized that he still had many years before getting old, and it was too early to get so demoralized. He changed his name to "water-like" (ruo shui 若水), determined to adapting himself to the society, and living like flexible water instead of unyielding mountains.

This is the beauty of Chinese classic poetry. Writers use a few analogies and line-drawings to uncover the tip of an iceberg, but leave readers fantasying the rest. The first two poems don't even mention the word of "love" or "affection", however you can tell how deep the love is through the blowing wind and burning candles. Similarly the last poem doesn't mention anything about "moving on", but the comparison of mountains and waters speaks for itself. Beautiful poems are truly intoxicating.

Happy Endings V.S. Bad Endings

Online fictions go viral as internet spreads out. These fictions are free of charge, but not free of time: anyone with access to internet can register and post his/her novels regardless of their qualities, and screening always costs readers quite a long time. For me, the challenge lie more on these fictions' endings rather than the qualities. It's not too difficult to sniff out a well-written fiction - the first few lines can give us a glimpse of the author's writing styles and levels, however it's very hard to tell whether the stories are happy ending or not, serial novels in particular. I used to spend several hours reading a humorously-written fiction which unfortunately ends very badly, and got upset for quite a while.

Tragedies impress people with the beauty of imperfections and poignance. If I recall all the fictions I read, what remain in my memory are those ending miserably: either A abandoning B or B betraying A, or a couple deeply in love failing to stay together as a result of unfortunate accidents or distressing misunderstandings. When I was in teenage, I cried over deaths of heroes and their friends, wishing they would resurrect like Sherlock Holmes in the following chapters. I waited for a few weeks, nothing happened except the writer announced "the end", leaving myself unable to get extricated from the mire of sadness and depression for another few weeks. Authors have been enjoying torturing their audiences with bad ending classics for centuries, and they know tears are better at gripping people's heart than laughter. Though loving tragedies so much, I found myself too emotional to read many of them. Therefore I carefully avoid tragedies and choose more with happy endings. Some internet writers have reputations for offering happy endings to all characters, and I feel relieved reading their works. But some of them abuse their reputations a little bit, and give sudden reversions in the last few chapters when all the sweet stories turn into a plot and some important ones die - like a thunderbolt out of a clear sky. Poor me can only moan for a while, swearing I will never read his/her books any more. However, when attracted by the beautiful beginning of his/her next novel, I tend to forget about all the old pains.

Some readers look for perfect love and lives in fictions because they are so rare in the real world, and some prefer to bad ending ones due to their profound meanings and enlightening inspirations. In either case, good fictions open windows to different life styles and show us alternatives to our current lives: what might have gone wrong and what could be corrected. Reading novels which tell stories of people relevant to us can easily arouse empathy. For example I read a love story earlier today about a young man doing master degree on journalism at Berkeley. He rents an apt in Marin and hates clam chowder. The story has not ended yet, and I sincerely hope it will have a happy ending as I subconsciously take it as a fictitious orthogonal of my own life.

I read for fun. When I hold a book (or iPad) in sunny afternoons in California, and spend a few hours reading a virtual world created by other people, I want a joyful experience rather than memorable regrets. All the characters - though unreal - are blessed by me.